1. Indecisiveness

The pattern refers to the mentality and behavior of hesitation, feeling torn and the inability to make a judgment, choice or decision when necessary. 


Example are: 

  • For some time, there has been tension in your relationship with someone. Several times you have been close to taking the initiative to express your good will in order to improve the situation, but still cannot bring yourself to put that intention into real action. You cannot be completely sure whether this is the right action, and keep having the thought that the problem has been there for too long etc. 
  • I really want to use REN XUE to help people but can’t turn my desire into action because I am afraid of public speaking and I am not sure if I could do a good job. What if I failed? 
  • I have a strong desire to grow. Although I have been making some effort, there hasn’t been any obvious progress. I know how important it is to change unhealthy patterns. However, I can’t seem to arrive at a place where I feel ready to fully commit myself to working on patterns. 

Related patterns include: Xin Ling level: Insufficient Trust, Insufficient Openness, Difficulty in Accepting. 


Other related patterns: Unfounded Suspicion, Fixed Expectations, Stubbornness, Negativity and Pessimism, Seeking Maximal Certainty, Excessive Expectations, Approval Seeking, Urge to Control and Tormented by Loss and Gain.


This pattern can affect one’s ability to make judgments and decisions, take action and exercise creativity. It can limit the quality and development of many aspects of life, including learning, daily living and work. It can also seriously hinder a person’s growth. 

  • Cultivate the Five Xin qualities (Wu Xin), especially trust and openness and other Xin qualities such as accommodation (inclusiveness, tolerance, understanding) and acceptance. 
  • Examine and explore the related patterns listed above, and more, to identify the patterns that are related to your Indecisiveness. Including these patterns can make your work on the pattern of Indecisiveness more efficient. (This principle applies to all patterns.) 
  • We see making the right decision or choice as something of utmost importance because we think a decision or choice can be either right or wrong. However, this could very well be a misconception. Sometimes the important thing is how to best use the decision or choice we have made. Perhaps we need to choose one standpoint and abandon the other. As long as we maintain a sound frame of Xin and mind, happiness and a sense of wellbeing can be created. Furthermore, if we cannot stop wondering whether the decision we are making is ‘right’, we cannot truly enjoy life even when the decision is actually ‘right’. 
  • If one is constantly trapped in the pattern of Indecisiveness, it could be worse than making a decision that might not be completely ‘right’. 
  • When it is hard to make a decision, it might be worth examining your motivation closely. Sometimes hesitation comes from Xin/Shen’s conscience, which doesn’t allow you to be driven solely by selfishness. It is noteworthy that a decision driven solely by maximizing personal gain can often lead to regret, whilst a decision driven by good intention and kindness normally does not.