12. Lack of Patience

This pattern refers to the mentality and behavior of reacting with anxiousness, restlessness or intolerance and with the strong intention to rush through or end a situation as quickly as possible. 

Examples are:

• I cannot help feeling anxious and restless when there is a long queue at the check-out counter. 

• When I am with someone who speaks or does things very slowly, or in a style I am not used to, I lose patience easily and cannot tolerate it for a long time. I feel a strong urge to rush the person or leave as soon as possible. 

• I get very frustrated and upset and find it intolerable when I have asked someone to change a bad habit time and time again, but nothing has changed. 

• I have been working on patterns for some years. Although I have made some progress, I am still far from total transformation and a high level of realization and wisdom. If a major leap does not happen soon, I feel my patience will run thin and I will lose the impetus to keep going.

Related patterns include: Eagerness for Quick Results, Excessive Expectation, Perfectionism, Urge to Control, Tormented by Loss and Gain, Seeking Maximal Certainty, Fixed Expectations, Self-Centeredness, Competitiveness, Exaggerating and Debasing and Responding with Negative Emotions

This pattern can cause unhealthy emotions such as nervousness, uneasiness, stress, anxiety, anxiousness, restlessness, irritation, fear, upset and anger. It can put one in a ‘fight or flight’ mode, depleting Shen and Qi and doing harm to health. It can also create unnecessary misunderstanding and conflict.

• There could be patterns underlying this pattern. It is worth discovering them and dealing with them. 

• Think about the benefit of being patient and how lack of patience can ruin things and relationships. 

• Think about how you feel when someone is impatient towards you? Do you prefer to be treated with patience? If you do, how should you treat others? 

• Always remind yourself of what is the most important thing for life. Is it the trivial thing you are trying to deal with at this moment or something else? 

• Always remember that patience is important when we want to achieve something that is important for life. Good things often take time to achieve. Let the process be harmonious and enjoyable. With patience and perseverance, sooner or later you will achieve the good goal you set for yourself. 

• Cultivate Wu Xin, especially full acceptance which is essential for the cultivation of openness. Work on the related patterns.