7. Hypocrisy and Pretense

This pattern refers to the mentality and behavior of concealing truth or acting against one’s true feelings and thoughts with the intention of seeking interest and avoiding harm. It inevitably has an unhealthy influence. 

Examples are: 

• Excessive Vanity: Regardless of one’s economic means, habitually relying on borrowed money to obtain luxury goods to keep up one’s appearance. It can also manifest as giving exaggerated or even false compliments or enjoying receiving such compliments. 
• Double or Multi-faced: Actions or words that do not reflect one’s true thoughts or feelings. It can also manifest as telling conflicting stories to different people about one thing. 
• Exaggerating and Bragging: To exaggerate or fabricate stories about oneself or anything concerning Self-Interest. 
• Pretense and Insincerity: The feelings and thoughts expressed are different from the true feelings and thoughts. Acting. 
• Ulterior Motive: This may not be a common manifestation of the pattern but is one that poses significant danger. For example, making up stories or lies to intentionally fool and cheat people and abuse people’s trust, sympathy, support, respect and even veneration to further one’s own hidden agenda.

Related patterns include: Hiding and Avoiding, Competitiveness, Greediness, Eager for Quick Results, Ignoring and Avoiding Action, Double Standards, Approval Seeking, Perfectionism, Tormented by Loss and Gain, Envy and Jealousy, and Exaggerating and Debasing. 

The True Self needs to manifest its true nature. Being true is upheld socially and morally in human society. This pattern will inevitably bring various negative experiences to life such as difficulty in maintaining peace and balance on the deep level of Xin Ling, a sense of emptiness on a deep level, the state of division and twistedness, anxiety and fear. It can also make it difficult to see and treat ourselves in a true and honest way, which can seriously undermine self-trust and one’s trustworthiness. In severe cases, significant harm can be done to other people and society. 

This pattern is rather special so it is necessary to look at it in more detail. 

Seeking interest and avoiding harm is one of the basic needs on the level of human nature. Driven by this need, it is reasonable to ‘disguise’. How do we tell if something is a necessary ‘disguise’ or a manifestation of the pattern of Hypocrisy and Pretense? To clarify this, we need to look at two aspects: motive and outcome. 

Sometimes well-intending lies are necessary. For example, when you receive a present thoughtfully chosen or prepared, you will usually say you like it very much even if you don’t. Although you are not telling the truth, you have a very good motive and your lie does not cause any harm. White lies may be false but they are indispensable for maintaining harmony and stability in social life.

The pattern of Hypocrisy and Pretense can manifest in two main ways which need to be clearly distinguished. The first one is without ill motive or the intention to harm. It can still have an unhealthy influence on oneself and others. The second one is with ill motive or hidden agenda and it could have a long- lasting negative impact or cause serious harm. 

No matter which type the pattern belongs to, as long as it is detrimental to one’s health and growth or other people’s wellbeing, it is necessary to face it and deal with it seriously. 

• It is important to understand that no matter how well we can fabricate, disguise, conceal, pretend or maintain a false façade, the truth will eventually be revealed. 
• The comprehensive cultivation of Wu Xin is important for dealing with this pattern. 
• Working on the pattern of Avoiding and Hiding in parallel can help speed progress on the pattern of Hypocrisy and Pretense. 
• As soon as we notice the motive of cheating, we should stop. We will be the biggest victim of our own cheating. 
• It is noteworthy that it is easy to see other people’s hypocrisy or pretense and not so easy to see our own. We tend to see ourselves as genuine. 
• This pattern is one of the biggest obstacles on our way to higher realization and wisdom. There is no good reason for not changing it. Surrendering and returning to the True Self is the most real and wonderful thing. Anything could happen!